Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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