I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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