I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
