I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
