If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
