You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize