By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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