That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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