hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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