He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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