I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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