It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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