I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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