so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize