i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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