blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
