would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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