You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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