update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
