why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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