He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
