well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
don't judge my taste in strippers
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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