So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
