the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
