So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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