Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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