Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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