I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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