More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
