I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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