I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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