i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
