Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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