Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
