I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
