the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Randomize
