Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize