He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
