Sponge bath it is.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
