But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
