What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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