To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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