I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
