u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
