Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
