I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
