I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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