Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
