i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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