so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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