that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
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She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
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I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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