I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
