Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
