Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
sex in a hospital.. check
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
