I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
