I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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