Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
