so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My bed smells like the plague
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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