What did we do last night that was yellow?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
